Afrocentric relationships? “I see the black population fighting, mistreating itself, in an internal conflict for the acceptance of branquitude (whiteness)”

"It may be worth remembering the numerous Afro-centric relationships that are not politicized and that reproduce various oppressions" - Jéssica Ipólito

afrocentrados
“It may be worth remembering the numerous Afro-centric relationships that are not politicized and that reproduce various oppressions” – Jéssica Ipólito

Note from BW of Brazil: I can never tire of exploring this issue. Because, in my view, the ongoing split between black men and black women in Brazil today is in essence about the survival of a people of a country that the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade most populated. The country that could have had the largest black population outside of Africa, but the fact is, if we’re honest with ourselves, this is probably not the case. And this is because, not only does Brazil continue to kill black folks at an extremely alarming rate, but after centuries of the promotion of the lack of value of the black body, many of Africa’s descendants in Brazil choose to mate with persons who don’t look like them and within a few generations, their offspring barely look as if their ancestors were in fact from Africa. But today’s post doesn’t only focus on the outcome of these choices, but the root cause of why so many seem to flee from creating more people who look like those enslaved Africans that were forcibly brought to the land that would later become known as Brazil.

In Lídia Michelle Azevedo’s review of a piece by architect Joice Berth, we are forced to look within to identify an inner pain that eats away at the self-esteem of a people that don’t realize how an illness instills in them a deep-rooted desire to be accepted by the very people whose racist behavior they consistently complain about. The very people who instilled in them this deep sense of self-hatred and desire to escape an undervalued racial existence. And until we deal with this inner pain of self-rejection, we cannot heal a divide between the black man and his partner, the black woman. 

Joice Berth talks about the construction of affections of black women today

By Lídia Michelle Azevedo

Black feminism is on the rise. This finding is not only due to the fact that the publishing market seems to be increasingly open for black authors to speak of their intellectual and ancestral knowledge, but mainly because they see black women increasingly “louder and darker”. The exaltation of this shift in position, however, cannot hide important issues that are happening within the feminist movement.

Affection has always been a difficult feeling to be constructed in the life of black women and the advent of social networks, which at first seem to facilitate the creation of relationships, started to have a quantitative and therefore commercial logic which causes the reproduction of behaviors of deficiency and superficiality observed in offline life.

“Women, in general, are always looking for affective crumbs that, through communication via social network, would be liked, shared, visualized, etc. And often they fail to realize that this is a new instrument of manipulation not only in affective relationships. Interactions via social networks have become an instrument of power: if I like you, I “like”, it if I don’t like you, I ignore you. Number of followers became currency of exchange and followers are not people, they are numbers to be negotiated with companies. Unfortunately, there is not the slightest care with the human behind the screen. There is a dangerous game of narcissism coupled with material ambition that fuels the possibility of exhibitionism,” explains Joice Berth, architect, urbanist and author of the book O que é empoderamento? (What is Empowerment?).

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‘O que é empoderamento?’ Joice Berth

She is keen to emphasize that despite the protagonism that black feminism and its support groups have won, there is still a long way to go in building an affection among black women:

“Thinking about the racial issue and its effects on the black population, it has the self-hatred manifested in the relationships through boycotts, invisibilization and erasures, relationships that we think are friendships, but they are utilitarian and of self-interest.”

This lack of self-esteem and self-understanding before understanding each other in the middle of the whole will affect, consequently, the love relationships, which in the digital age, according to the author, follow a formula of manipulation through interaction crumbs. Some black women believe that investing in relacionamentos afrocentrados (afro-centred relationships) will make them escape such situations by expecting the black man to be more consciously involved. But Joice Berth deconstructs this idea by saying that not all movement is experiencing the same debate.

“I don’t think interracial relationships are being debated, they are being attacked with a strong appeal of machismo, because these attacks are only for interracial relationships involving black women, black men remain very quiet with their white passports being in all spaces. The black woman is passed over and/or pressured to accept any hoax in the name of afrocentrated love. This is nonsense. Because I don’t see Afrocentric relationships around here. I see the black population fighting itself, mistreating itself, in an internal conflict that seems veiled, but is not, fighting for the acceptance of branquitude (whiteness) and negotiating their dignity for it. Generally speaking, because I don’t limit myself to speaking only of the racial issue, we live in a moment of a crisis of affection, people are very much lovers of themselves and leaving aside the possibility of personal growth that comes with the diversity of social interactions.”

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“The probability of a poor black boy being able to choose to get with a white girl is significantly higher than the probability of a black girl choosing to get with a white boy.” “…For the poor black girl, she remains to be chosen by white boys or black boys and to hope that it is not only for the pleasure of the flesh.” – Leonardo Custodio

Personal growth, by the way, is the key to the construction any kind of relationship and what will make the concept “solidão da mulher negra” (loneliness of the black woman) a thing of the past. It is important to point out that for the intellectual, this debate is not only about women’s self-esteem, but also about the self-esteem of the men who surround them.

“This matter is not one-sided. It does not just depend on our awareness to resolve itself. It is a racial agenda, although everyone who studies and deals with the racial question pretends not to. We need the black man to be able to purify the racism he has internalized, to cultivate the self-esteem he lost centuries ago, and then to be able to look at the black woman as a potential partner. I am not and have never been against interracial relationships. They are not a problem in themselves. The problem is the intentions and structural contexts in which they happen, especially when they come from the black man,” problematizes Joice Berth.

She recalls that she had dated men of different ethnicities than hers, and that at no time did she question herself about her own blackness. For her, the issue is not in the struggle “Afrocentric relationships x interracial relationships” but in how you are with your identity and the identity of the movement of which you are a part.

“I’ve had black, white, Asian boyfriends. For me they are men and do not influence the relationship I have with myself as a black woman. But it would be troublesome if I only had relationships with white men…What is overwhelmingly common with black men, the numbers and studies are there to prove what we are talking about. But in addition, relations between black people are deteriorated and need to be reviewed. Often, in the relations between black man and black woman, the violence and disrespect that comes from the expression of self-hatred are fully present. I don’t see black men valuing black women ever. So it is not the interracial relationship the problem, it is the mentality of these men that is compromised,” explains the architect, who issues an alert:

“We need to demand of the white women, especially those who position themselves as feminists, an attitude in relation to this, because it involves them as well. After all, a man who is sick with racism and who seeks her with other intentions, which has nothing to do with love and affection, at any moment will turn the relationship into something abusive, in this case, on both sides, as I see a lot there.”

SourceNotícia Preta

About Marques Travae 3023 Articles
Marques Travae. For more on the creator and editor of BLACK WOMEN OF BRAZIL, see the interview here.

3 Comments

  1. The idea that that these grown up self-hating black men can be taught to gradually develop self esteem within their lifetime is a cruel joke. A whole generation has to be simply written off as damaged goods. One could only hope that there would be enough black people left to start the “race” on a solid foundation. If we can hardly wait for a generation to pass away for a new beginning to take place, you can understand how biblical in its magnitude the black Brazilian predicament is. Remember as we, foreign blacks, wring our hands in despair, the Sambos of Brazil are blissfully happy … My heart goes out though for the black women of Brazil, who are getting the short end of “racial democracy”.

  2. ANTI AFRIKAN PHILOSOPHY DEFINED-2ND EDITION

    Anti Afrikan Philosophy carries the following meaning: it is those persons who fall within the meaning of the below:
    # 2
    A. The Black Anglo-Saxon; By: Dr. Nathan Hare (1965/1991)
    B. Black Bourgeoisie, By: Dr. E. Franklin Frazier (C1957)
    C. Black Skin White Mask ,By: Dr. Frantz Fanon (C1967)
    D. Cultural Misorientation, By: Dr. Kobi K. K. Kambon
    E. And, ‘TRUTH MUST BE TAKEN FOR THE LIE: THE LIE FOR TRUTH. OTHERWISE A SMALL GROUP, SUCH AS EUROPEAN PEOPLE, COULD NOT CONTINUE TO KEEP THE REST OF THE WORLD OUT OF ITS MIND” @ P. 67(1993 Edition) By: Dr. Amos N. Wilson in THE FALSIFICATION OF AFRIKAN CONSCIOUSNESS.
    F. And, “THE EUROPEAN WHO TAKES THE RHETORICAL ETHIC SERIOUSLY DOES SO OUT OF A FALSE CONSCIOUSNESS THAT PREVENTS HIM FROM PERCEIVING HIS OWN GROUP INTEREST AS DEFINED BY HIS CULTURE. THE RESULT IS DANGEROUS FOR PEOPLE OF AFRICAN DESCENT AND OTHER NON-EUROPEAN WHO MISTAKENLY TAKE THE RESULTANT ANOMALOUS BEHAVIOR FOR A POSSIBLE RULE”, @ P. 331 (1994 Edition) By: Dr. Marimba Ani,
    G. And, ‘HE OR SHE SHOULD REALIZE BY NOW THAT”WHITE” IS NO LONGER CONFINED TO SKIN BUT IT IS A STATE OF MIND, A WORLDVIEW AND AXIOLOGY THAT CAN BE ADAPTED BY ANYONE IF THEY ARE FAR ENOUGH AWAY FROM THE ROOTS OF SELF AND NATURAL BEING TO BE SO LED” By: Dr. Dorothy Blake Fardan in MESSAGE TO THE WHITE MAN AND WHITE WOMAN IN AMERICA (May 1991), P. 78.
    H. And, “THE NEGROES THUS PLACED IN CHARGE WOULD BE THE PRODUCTS OF THE SAME SYSTEM AND WOULD SHOW NO MORE CONCEPTION OF THE TASK AT HAND THAN DO THE WHITES WHO HAVE EDUCATED THEM AND SHAPED THEIR MINDS AS THEY WOULD HAVE THEM FUNCTION. NEGRO EDUCATORS OF TODAY MAY HAVE MORE SYMPATHY AND INTEREST IN THE RACE THAN THE WHITES NOW EXPLOITING NEGRO INSTITUTIONS AS EDUCATORS. BUT THE FORMER HAVE NO MORE VISION THAN THEIR COMPETITORS. TAUGHT FROM BOOKS OF THE SAME BIAS, TRAINED BY CAUCASIANS OF THE SAME PREJUDICES OR BY NEGROES OF ENSLAVED MINDS, ONE GENERATION OF NEGRO TEACHERS AFTER ANOTHER HAVE SERVED FOR NO HIGHER PURPOSE THAN TO DO WHAT THEY ARE TOLD TO DO. IN OTHER WORDS, A NEGRO TEACHER INSTRUCTING NEGRO CHILDREN IS IN MANY RESPECTS A WHITE TEACHER THUS ENGAGED, FOR THE PROGRAM IN EACH CASE IS ABOUT THE SAME. THERE CAN BE NO REASONABLE OBJECTION TO THE NEGRO’S DOING WHAT THE WHITE MAN TELLS HIM TO DO, IF THE WHITE MAN TELLS HIM TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT: BUT RIGHT IS PURELY RELATIVE”, @ P. 23., IN THE MIS-EDUCATION OF THE NEGRO By: DR. CARTER G. WOODSON, OF HARVARD UNIVERSITY, DIED IN 1950.
    I. And, RACISM (WHITE SUPREMACY) IS AS FOLLOWS: The local and global power system structured and maintained by person who classify themselves as white, whether consciously or subconsciously determined; this system consists of patterns of perception, logic, symbol, formation, thought, speech, action and emotional response, as conducted simultaneously in all areas of people activity (Economics, Education, Entertainment, Labor, Law, Politics, Religion, Sex and War). The Ultimate purpose of the system is to prevent white genetic annihilation on earth-a planet in which the overwhelming majority of people are classified as non-white (Black, Brown, Red and Yellow) by white-skinned people. All of the Non-white people are genetically dominant (in terms of skin coloration) compared to the genetically recessive white skinned people. In the ISIS PAPERS, By: Dr. Frances Cress Welsing (C1991) P. ii of Preface
    ISBN: 0883781042.
    J. RACING BACK TO SLAVERY, By: Henri Turney-ISBN 0-9745071-0-5; AND
    K. BRAHMINISM, of INDIA, any form thereof- DALIT THE BLACK UNTOUCHABLES OF INDIA, By: V. T. Rajshekar-ISBN: 0-932863-05-1-1987 EDITION; # 6 SAYS -Complete subjugation and suppression of
    women, @ 64; # 3-Complete disarmament of the Shudras and the Untouchables-@ 64

    APYRUS VOL 8 # 8- MAMMY-ISM- SENT BY IPET ISUT –WITH PHOTO
    EDITED BY THE SENDER -2 nd EDITION Mammy-ism: A diagnosis of psychological misorientation for women of African descent
    Journal of Black Psychology, May 1998, Vol. 24 Issue 2, p196
    By: Afi Samella Abdullah
    African American women can experience some feelings of self-hatred to the extent that they evaluate and then devalue their physical characteristics (facial features, skin color, hair texture, personal behaviors) referencing beauty standards set by European Americans who imbue White supremacy. These same Black women may find themselves acting out certain behaviors in historically defined and ascribed roles dictated by individual and institutionalized racism, roles that help to maintain the dependency and oppression of Black women, One such role ascribed to a Black woman is that of mammy. This article addresses the concept of mammy and the maintaining of the mammy cultural image. The diagnosis of Mammy-ism is discussed as an example of one way that African American women historically assume the role and acquiesce to this socially determined inferior status, demonstrate attitudes of self-alienation, and display mental confusion. As a result, African social reality and survival thrust are displaced with European social reality and survival thrust. African women who display the above characteristics stiffer from the mental disorder of Mammy-ism. The Azibo nosology categorizes Mammy-ism as a subcategory of Psychological Misorientation (genetic Blackness minus psychological Blackness).
    This article addresses the psychological health of African American women, who have historically used the coping strategy of playing the ascribed mammy roles, when White people appear to be threatened. This author conceptualizes the mammy role and traces the history of its institutionalization and current manifestations in the behavior of today’s Black women. The reader is guided to understanding how the current use of this coping strategy is related to suboptimal functioning, thus depriving the woman of African descent of the true nature of her oneness with God, worldview, cultural identification, and self-appreciation. There is a need for all women of African descent to address the Mammy-ism concept and diagnosis. In the attempt to be inclusive regardless of how a particular woman addresses herself, this article refers to African American, Black, Caribbean, and all other women in the Diaspora as women of African descent.
    A NOSOLOGY OF AFRICAN PERSONALITY DISORDER
    Azibo (1989) systematizes disorders of the African personality with one another, as well as with the disorders within the nosology of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manuals (DSM-III, (DSM-III, & DSM-IV; 1980, 1987, 1994, respectively). This Azibo Africentric nosology of personality disorganization in people of African descent employs and affirms principles of the African social reality (cosmology, culture, survival thrust, and ethos). Mental health is defined as “the achievement in the psychological and behavioral spheres of life of a functioning that (a) is in harmony with and (b) embraces the natural order” (Azibo, 1989, p. 176). The original African social reality is synonymous with the natural order, that is, humans share oneness and harmony with the Creator and with nature, the Creator’s creations. Furthering the African survival thrust (the preservation of one’s race) is defined as mental health for the original human being, the African.
    The importance of race (the collective aspect of the self) is a key in conceptualizing disorders of the African personality. Correct orientation, as well as psychological and behavioral functioning, depicts the ultimate personality order as an individual’s ultimate attainment of oneness with the One God. Human nature, as viewed in African psychology, is defined as rational and has moral integrity. Acquiring self-knowledge is natural in the progression toward self-mastery.
    “Thus correct orientation is described as genetic Blackness plus psychological Blackness” (Azibo, 1989, p. 192). Azibo postulates that when there is genetic Blackness minus psychological Blackness, the manifest condition reflects the disorder of Psychological Misorientation. This author postulates that the disorder of Mammy-ism represents a condition of Psychological Misorientation.
    CONCEPTUALIZING MAMMY
    The characteristics of Mammy have been defined by privileged Whites and unfortunately often ascribed to and embraced by some women of African descent. This role historically portrayed by the female of African descent was previously necessary, as it was adaptive and allowed these women a way to survive. They were seen as nonthreatening, nurturing, selfless people who demonstrated love and devotion to their oppressors and the oppressors’ families rather than to self or family.
    The Mammy seemed to manage and contain any internal conflicts that may have stemmed from an expectation to nurture others at the expense of her own family’s needs, wants, and ambitions and/or at the expense of her own needs, wants, and ambitions. The Mammy allegedly viewed the family she worked for as her family, often sacrificing her life for the pleasure of the slave owner or employer’s home or business. These women also looked out for the slave owner, never wanting the owner’s family or property harmed, damaged, or threatened. This role was assumed in response to social and political demands, even when such demands were not overt. This is a clear example of the violation of the first law of nature, in that the self is unaware/unthinking, inharmonious with the Creator, and dissonant with the preservation of own race. Black women are familiar with the Mammy roles that have been historically portrayed by African American women and idealized by Whites.
    INSTITUTIONALIZATION OF MAMMY
    History confirms that the media and advertisement negatively display the attributes of Black women by encouraging them to straighten and lighten their fully textured hair to aspire to and emulate European standards of beauty. There is a continuous appeal to African American women to discount their own beautiful shades of darkness by eliciting them to bleach their skin color. Greene (1994) states that Black women are encouraged to imitate White women and are rewarded for attempts to approach the White ideal. Unfortunately, this appeal is generated by Black men, Black mothers, Black magazines, music videos, and Black manufacturers of hair products and cosmetics, who fashion Black women as blond with light- colored skin tones. Such appeals reflect acceptance of the ideal beauty as being as close to the European standard as possible. Such appeals also reflect the acceptance by Black people of the negative stereotypes and the incorporation of anti-self and alien-self attitudes and behaviors. The racism of White supremacists was internalized.
    Jewell (1993) speaks of how the current status of African Americans has been perpetuated through cultural images. The pervasive cultural images of Mammy have been used to define, describe, despise, disgrace, embarrass, humble, humiliate, ignore, reject, and shame women of African descent. Such images might be used so that White women can deny feeling threatened by the beauty of Black women. Black women embellish and imitate White attributes and depreciate their own beauty. Jewell (1993) explains that these cultural images were constructed as vital to the maintenance of the economic order to keep African American women outside of economic mainstream. Black women had to acquire this groomed image of docility and self-effacement to enter the job market.
    CONCEPTUALIZING MAMMY-ISM
    Although Mammy was a role initially played by women of African descent as a survival strategy to preserve their life and the lives of loved ones, the functional use of the role is now extinct. The playing of the role of Mammy helped to save many Black women from physical harm and assured them of “scraps” that they could take home to family members. However, with progressive educational achievements, technical skills, and employment experiences, today’s Black women need not accommodate Whites by assuming this inferior and dehumanizing social position that had assured our survival during the last 400 years.
    The following case was selected from the author’s clinical practice. It demonstrates a family’s unfulfilled dreams for a better life after migrating from the South. This resulted in family discord, economic instability, individual emotional stress, poor self-images, minimal self-respect, and even images of unworthiness of respect and love.
    CLINICAL CASE SELECTION 1
    Mrs. B., mother of five children, was 27 years old in 1941 and worked part-time outside of the home as a domestic. An attractive dark-skinned woman who wore her thick black hair in a bun at the nape of her neck, her trim figure belied her age and her numerous pregnancies and deliveries. Nearing the celebration of her 10th wedding anniversary, the future looked bleak to her.
    Mr. B., a clerk in a neighborhood grocery, was 36 years old in 1941. He was recovering from bullet wounds he suffered during a recent store robbery. This trauma had resulted in his hospitalization and the family’s introduction to the welfare system. He had recognized the dangers of working in a grocery store and had attempted to stabilize the family income by joining the army. He was rejected from joining the armed services because of his age and the number of children (five children, ages 6 months to 8 years).
    After the declaration of World War II, many male-dominated jobs became vacant. Mr. B. had a grade school education; he secured a job as a meat inspector for a major meat packaging company in Chicago. Mrs. B. had dropped out of high school in her junior year to marry, but she was able to find stable employment as a seamstress (she loved to sew) in a sewing factory where parachutes were made under a government contract. The earning power of the family more than tripled. They no longer needed supplements from the welfare system. They were economically stable and financed their family’s physical, social, educational, and leisure needs. Some middle-class strivings for their children were evidenced by expectations that the youngsters would complete high school, select upwardly mobile classmates for friends, refrain from sexual activity, and adhere to the church dogma.
    Even though Mr. and Mrs. B. sought to join the labor unions at their places of employment, they were denied membership. When the war was over, the demands of the social caste system were reintroduced and reinforced. Both were fired from their jobs and ultimately had to return to prior employment situations, as grocery clerk and household domestic. Mrs. B. cleaned homes and served as adviser and nurturer for the employer’s family. She was angry because she wore a smile and pretended she was happy in her work. Mrs. B. suffered from feelings of depression and anxiety. She felt hopeless about her future and the future of her children. She feared that they too would become victims of society. She feared for their lives as she remembered the trauma of her father being arrested late one night and returning to the family weeks later in a casket with cause of death unknown. Every time she sees a White man, she fears for her life and that of her family members. She resents having to work so hard in the home of a White family, where the husband is a police officer. She is hypervigilant all day and is exhausted at the day’s completion. She complains of being tired when talking to her own family. With the family income drastically reduced, they reapplied for welfare assistance. Feelings of hopelessness prevailed, and Mrs. B. spent more time in church, while Mr. B. spent more money on alcohol.
    Mrs. B. seemingly lost herself in her role as housemaid and often pretended that the employer’s home was her home. She wanted the “nice stuff” and she often imitated the employer. She concluded that the only way to make her life better was to change her natural presence by straightening her hair, lightening her skin color, forcing her wide hips into her employer’s discarded dresses, and speaking in a high-pitched staccato voice. Mrs B. began to hate everything that looks African, including herself, husband, children, neighbors, and friends. In 1962, she decided to leave her family to “better herself.” She moved near the boundaries of a European neighborhood and began dating a European man. In 1968, at the age of 53, she came for mental health treatment.
    African Diagnosis: Distorted and fragmented African Self-Consciousness, as a result of racial cultural oppression and environmental determinants. Possesses Psychological Misorientation and Assimilated Personality Traits. Anti-self mental disorder of Mammy-ism.
    This author believes that the familiar Mammy role assigned to the Black domestic worker has now been expanded into corporate America and includes the Black female clerical, managerial, specialty-type technical, business, and professional employees. If the Mammy image made the Black woman more acceptable and even advantageous to have in the service industries, the same image (tough, resilient, self-sacrificing, nurturing maternal figure) clearly makes the Black woman acceptable in clerical, managerial, and professional specialty-type positions. Situations viewed during many clinical interviews reveal stressed women working in banking institutions, educational facilities, retail operations, hospitals, governmental agencies, and private sector health and social agencies. Such women report job-related stress associated with difficult interpersonal relationships with colleagues and/or supervisors who employ oppressive tactics. Even college-educated Black women seen in therapy consistently report job dissatisfaction. They ultimately understood how their dissatisfaction was related to their hard work greatly benefiting the company or business while merely maintaining their current work positions. Managerial work experiences, which could enhance the self-esteem and the economic stability of White women, often had the opposite impact on Black women, resulting in low self-esteem and economic instability from constant job threats. A woman of African descent can be fantasized as a tough, resilient, smiling mother figure who is all knowing and capable of protecting and defending her bosses or company (domestic or nondomestic job, public or private sector), and/or White coworkers. When today’s Black woman gives in to oppressive strategies, acts out White people’s fantasies, and emulates the Mammy, she is practicing Mammy-ism. What causes educated, technically skilled, and work-experienced women to internalize White racism, accept oppression, aspire to and emulate White beauty standards, call the company her company, and invest her total energies in the profits of the company, only to return home exhausted with no quality time for family? Although they act trapped, they are not as vulnerable as their ancestors were, but they act the same way. These women are suffering from Mammy-ism.
    The following case, selected from the author’s clinical practice, demonstrates the suffering of Mammy-ism in this well-educated, well-qualified African American woman of the 1990s.
    CLINICAL CASE SELECTION 2
    Miss M. is a 29-year-old woman with an MBA degree and is an account executive for an international corporation. She first sought therapy, complaining of tension and stress. She said she was committed to therapy, came regularly for her weekly appointments, and talked spontaneously about the pathology in her family. This attractive young woman has slouched posture, which emphasizes her being overweight. She has light-colored skin and wears shoulder-length hair permed straight and colored sandy blond. Her tailored suit is representative of her corporate uniform. Yet, the straight tight skirt and boxy jacket poorly fit her round physical form. She looks like a round peg trying to fit into a square hole. She is a graduate of a recognized state university and of the graduate business school of a high-ranking New England university. However, she repeatedly refers to herself as dumb and appears grateful the company continues to employ her. She feels fortunate, rather than competent, to be a graduate of both schools. When she relates situations during her college and graduate school life, the physical, emotional, and social traumas are relived. Joining the White sorority almost cost her her life. Life in the dormitories led to repeated situations of rejection and isolation.

  3. I would say to the black women of Brazil, don’t waste your time and your beautiful years waiting on black men to be supportive of you. Give your love to a man, regardless of race, who loves and supports you. And black men need to just chill. If you had been the husband, father, protector, provider and builder of infrastructure that black women and children needed, there would be no need to interracially marry just to have a family and a safe space. My generation (Gen-X, Gen-Y) are write-offs. If you have a son, raise your son to be a better man than his father is, worthy of the love and respect of a black woman who wishes to be by his side.

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